Tuesday, October 21, 2014

110 Funny Sayings I Heard In Lending Business

110.  A 550 credit score is pretty good, right?

109.  Can I embellish my income a little?

108.  Can we bump the appraisal?

107.  You can't add.

106.  You can't subtract.

105.  What do you mean I can't afford a house that big?

104.  Why do you need my social security number?

103.  I'm not giving you my social security number!

102.  Why is my credit any of YOUR business?

101.  Don't lie.

100.  Be honest.

99.  What?

98.  Why?

97.  I don't remember you telling me that.

96.  How long is this going to take?

95.  Are you serious?

94.  Oh no!  The baby is crying!

93.  Why is the interest rate so high?

91.  I just bought a new car!

90.  What does that mean?

89.  My credit is dawg s**t!

88.  You are too funny.

87.  Just go apply somewhere else.

86.  I'm still waiting...

85.  Damn!

84.  That Realtor is a pain in the a**!

83.  I'm fighing with the Realtor!

82.  Don't laugh...

81.  How many stips are there?

80.  This loan is taking FOREVER to close!

79.  Can't I just get a break?

78.  What do you mean shopping my credit hurts my scores?

77.  Not even in your best dreams...

76.  Don't Account Execs ever make appointments?

75.  We are working in the WRONG market!

74.  I no longer want to be the king of subprime loans.

73.  Yep.

72.  Nope.

71.  I can't afford that!

70.  This job reminds me of that Rolling Stones song, "You Can't Always Get What You Want"

69.  HUD raided his offices.

68.  The FBI raided his offices.

67.  The IRS raided his offices.

66.  Yep, he's in jail.

65.  Those were the good ol' days if you could fog a mirror you could get a loan...

64.  Loanorrific!

63.  O no!

61.  That loan blew up this morning...

60.  What do you mean I have an adjustable rate mortgage?

59.  Are you sure you know what you are doing?

58.  Why is he an a*****e?

57.  Crap!

56.  Where's my calculator?

55.  Why does your bank statement show negative balances?

56.  I don't care if a drug dealer gifts you a down payment.  Just get it!

55.  What is seasoning?

54.  Wow!  This DTI is 75%.  That can't be right, can it?

53.  I wouldn't hold your breath (too long)!

52.  Don't call my processor!

51.  Don't Realtors have ANY patience!

50.  Oh Good Lord, help me now!

49.  We could use some compensating factors for this loan.

48.  I wouldn't wipe my a** with that credit report!

47.  No, I won't apologize!

46.  I am sorry, but come back to me when you have better credit...

45.  I hate my job...

44.  Is it Friday yet?

43.  Golf season's starting!  Gotta love it!

42.  So, who do you think you are?

41.  I need a bigger house in a better neighborhood.

40.  I gotta get out of that house...

39.  Be patient...

38.  You are too damn funny.

37.  This loan doesn't make sense at all...

36.  And why do I care?

35.  You can't be serious...

34.  You better get off Fantasy Island!

33.  Ridiculous!

32.  I just threw it in the trash!

31.  Who cares!?!

30.  I need a vacation...

29.  What?  Do I need to show them the house myself?

28.  I can't deal with this anymore...

27.  That valuation won't work - he's out of his mind!

26.  Maybe...

25.  What a huckster!

24.  I'm in a good mood... so far...

23.  O PLEASE!

22.  I can't read his handwriting...

21.  Get serious!

20.  Get a life!

19.  Not to be mean...

18.  What are doing?

17.  Fabulous!  Just fabulous!

16.  Are we having fun yet?

15.  I picked up a few nuggets.

14.  This is a feast or famine business!

13.  This is crap!

12.  I'm not playing...

11.  Just need your John Hancock here...

10.  This guy is really upset...

9.  Hysterical!

8.  Why are you laughing?

7.  How do I know this isn't a scam?

6.  Oopps!

5.  Please don't say that...

4.  I've never seen that before!

3.  Can I get a second opinion?

2.  How expensive is this gonna be?

1.  How low can you go?  I need a really LOW rate!

Cheers & Good Luck!

Michael Hathman

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